If you have an elderly parent and are caring for them, you may find that there will often be friction. Your views may not always be in line with theirs. They may also have quirks that can be challenging to deal with, especially as they are aging. They may tend to be moody, forgetful, and sensitive.
The reality is, elderly people may begin to lose their cognitive and physical abilities as time goes by. They may not be as sharp and nimble as they used to be. The thing is, they may be aware of this and feel helpless about it. Therefore, your snarky comments may hurt them–even more than they let on.
If you care about your elderly loved ones, you may want to consider being more sensitive and avoid saying these things that may hurt their feelings.
8 Things Not to Say to Your Elderly Parents
1. Why can’t you remember this? Your elderly parent may be suffering from short-term memory loss. They didn’t choose to be forgetful, and maybe they tried their best, but their cognitive function may not be as it was before.
2. I just showed you how to do it. Showing your frustration, or even in the tone of your voice, can be hurtful. It can be discouraging and they may feel more helpless than they already are.
3. What does that have to do with anything? Their minds may wander, and they may lose their train of thought more often. They have a hard time following conversation or finishing their thought.
4. You said that already/You already told me that. Instead of becoming irritable or losing patience, just play along. They may have a treasured memory they want to keep repeating.
5. Are these in your will? This can be an inconsiderate statement. They don’t want to think about death and you thinking about material possessions.
6. Your grandson’s name is ___, not ___. Just know that there’s no ill will behind the confusion. Laugh off the mistake and be patient in
7. Don’t even try… You may just want to help or ease their burdens, but this can sound insensitive. There is a better way of offering help and it includes allowing them to feel empowered instead of feeling useless.
8. Don’t you see how hard this is for me? This can make your elderly parent feel guilty as they will feel like a burden. If you have frustrations or are having a hard time, you can talk to another trusted family member, a friend, or even a counselor.
Growing old in inevitable and everyone will go through it. Remember that your parents have been with you, taking care of you as you grow up, and in our culture, it’s important that we repay this. Let us be more accepting, loving, and nurturing.
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