Caring for your elderly parent or loved one can be the most noble, most rewarding experience. However, let’s face it–it has its share of challenges. It can be physically, mentally, and even emotionally draining. You may find that you are losing your own self in the process as you do everything to ensure that your aging charge is safe, healthy, and secure. While trying to meet the demands of caregiving, you may have been neglecting yourself.
Here are some tips on how you can love and care for your elderly parents or loved ones without losing yourself and sacrificing your own happiness.
Loving Your Elderly Parent Without Losing Yourself
1. Find a geriatric doctor. While you may have a family physician, it pays to find someone who has an expertise in dealing with aging people. Their specialty can easily diagnose and treat your aging parents and can greatly help improve their health and well-being as well as your peace of mind.
2. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Caregiving for an elderly can bring an unending stream of challenging tasks, big and small. It can leave you feeling drained, not to mention extra grumpy. However, if you learn to pick your battles, you can spend less time feeling stressed. Being empathetic and considerate is a must here, so you can look at situations with a more patient and forgiving eye.
3. Take it slow. Whether you’re tidying up or cooking, or even helping your aging relative move about, learn to relax and slow down. First of all, moving more calmly and slowly helps decrease the risk of accidents. You are also more in tune to what you are doing and can actually dampen your stress even for just a while.
4. Reminisce together. Take a few moments out of each day to just sit down and talk. This can easily be overlooked in the busy days, but it’s an important part not only for your elderly parent, but for you as well. It helps you wind down and be in touch with the person you are caring for. It’s a moment of comfort that you also need. Encourage them to talk about their lives, what they have been through, and maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two from them.
5. Remember, you’re the child. The roles may now seem reversed as the person you are counting on in your family to be your strength and supporter is now losing their ability to function. It’s like you’re taking on this role now–and in many ways, you are. However, it’s important to help your loved one maintain dignity and feel empowered. Continue to show your respect and be sensitive to their needs. They are, still, your parents and the elder in the family. This can also help reduce the friction between you two.
6. Take time to get away. You need time off. Even if it feels like everything will fall apart if you turn your back for one second, it really won’t. Even if it’s just a few hours each week or a few weeks in a year, it could greatly help. Don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself to recharge and rejuvenate. This will help you keep balance in your own life.
7. Focus on the good. It can be easy to lose sight of it amidst the hustle and bustle of care giving. However, it’s a must that you take time to notice what’s good. Treasure the moments of happiness and joy. Even in difficult times, find nuggets of learning that you can appreciate as well. When you do this, you will notice changes. You become significantly calmer, positive, and more clear-headed.
The saying “it takes a village” doesn’t just apply to raising little babies. It may also apply to caring for the elderly. It helps to understand that you need other people to help you, and it’s alright to ask for it.
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